I am at home right now. Watching the worst movie ever probably 'Ghost in a shell'. I figured while I have the time I might as well watch some movies and catch up. I wasn't going to write. I wanted to share my thoughts when I had something positive. A new reason for all of this. But this movie is just so bad that I wanted to do something worthwhile.
The first time I got lymphoma I used this period of chemo and recovery to go into new directions, to think about what I had been doing and if I wanted to continue on this path.
Last Wednesday I started immunotherapy, and until Saturday I had chemotherapy. Now I am recovering and waiting for my body to get into a good enough shape for the next chemo. In the mean time I have been on the look out for a new reason. But I can't find one. I have to wait until this is all finished and keep an open mind. Even more than before. Because my body might change too much because of the chemo. Or not... I can't tell.
All I know is that I have to deal with this treatment day by day. Deal with the nerve and ear damage that might take place. Deal with the overwhelming nausea, the muscle loss and cramps. Trying to exercise, eat and sleep.
I will try to keep playing the saxophone. But at the same time, I am not sure whether I will still play sax in one year.
To be continued....
All the best,